Buzzfeed Unsolved
by bandits pesty uncle
Summary: AU Ryan is an amateur vlogger hoping to make it big. One night Ryan experiments with lsd &witness the supernatural. Little does he know the only thing he witnessed was the true form of his neighbor Shane. Finding humor in Ryan's fear, Shane (a high ranking demon) decides to follow him around on his hunt to prove what he saw was real. In the process the two actually become friends.
1. Prologue:

Ryan was shaking, quivering in all parts of his body as if that was what he was born to do. Every other action, every other breath, every other choice was sheer accident in place of his primary function: quacking in his bones in some Godforsaken corner. This just so happened to be exactly what Ryan was doing that very second.

His eyes were tiny slits focused on the only light source in the room—the demon box.

"Sh-Shane, why is it levitating? Wh-Why is it pointing at us? Shane?" He was actually crying. Shane always had a reasonable explanation but at the moment he was silent and that terrified Ryan even more.

Any other time Shane would have gotten a hearty chuckle from the way Ryan said his name but this was different. Everything that had lead up to this instant was different.

Shane made a mental note to go back to New Orleans and destroy that old lady selling tokens of the underworld in the form of cheap key chains. When Ryan had purchased the item it was just an archaic device that had been obsolete for eons but Ryan, being the natural sleuth, found a way to bring it back to life. He could hardly remember the last time he saw one but knew it had to be when he used it on that asshole Aaron. Shane knew he should have destroyed the woman's cart the second he recognized the demonic symbols etched into her shabby cart but as always he was too late.

"Sh-Shane?"

The honest answer would be "No, Ryan. It's not pointing at _us_. It's pointing at _me._"but Shane couldn't bring himself to let the words out. He knew what saying that would mean. He knew what that would look like in Ryan's already frail eyes. Shane knew it would mean the end to the only fun he had enjoyed in the last ten thousand years and so he simply sucked his teeth and shrugged, "You know what? You got me."

The box was originally 1inx1in but thanks to the Latin words Ryan tripped over in his séance it grew five times its size. It casted an disturbing red glow from the inside with a small hatch opened in both men's direction. Shane raced through a million different "logical" reasons for the events but before he could throw out something about chemicals Ryan cried out, "Oh fuck, it's me! It's fucking me isn't it! Fuck!"

"What?" Shane snapped his head in the man's direction.

Ryan had imploded. He was a curled little ball holding himself together as he cried in his hands, "The time lapses, the f-fucking picture, the dreams, the outbursts, the mood swings, the appetite! I'm the fucking demon, Shane! I don't know where, I don't know how but something is _inside_ of me! It's been fucking with me and now it's t-taking me over!"

"What!? No!" Shane almost laughed but the sight was so pathetic it actually made him sad. He wanted to immediately shout out explanations to each example but the only answer he had was "Me, me, me, ME!" and he just could not do that yet.

"It's fucking true!" Ryan spit out, "I'm fucking sorry. I'm so sorry Shane. I-I put us both in danger so many times and a-all I wanted to do was help people. I'm so, so sorry Shane. I…"

He cut himself off and where he stopped Shane angrily replied, "You're not fucking possessed by a demon!"

"I know what I have to do."

Ryan slowly, nervously rose to his feet with his hand extended toward the box. His body inched closer as Shane starred at the stupidity of the man he had grown to care for. How dumb could one person be? He slapped Ryan's hand from the air and gripped it tight to force his eyes on him, "Do you realize what an idiot you are being right now? That _box_ had one purpose: to capture demons. If a human touches that box it immediately incinerates them. If a demon touches that box? It incinerates their host and sends them back to the pearly darkness, alright? Even if you were a demon I'd never let you touch that thing—it's ridiculous."

"THIS ISN'T A FUCKING GAME!" Ryan sobbed, "I know you think I'm just one big fucking joke but it's true and I need to go before it takes over and I do something terrible! Before I hurt someone! Before I hurt _you_!"

"You aren't a fucking demon, Ryan! You aren't even possessed by one!"

"Then why is it looking at us, Shane?!"

"It's not looking at us!"

"Oh, for fucksake! It's looking at us!"

"It's not looking at us, Ryan!"

"Then who the fuck is it looking at!"

"It's looking at me!"

There is was. The breaking point. The end of what had been theirs.

Shane let go of the man's hand, "It's looking at me."

"N…No…No," he shook his head, returning back the corner.

"Yeah," Shane looked to the box and with a wave of his hand sent it flying backwards to smash against the wall. He expected to hear a scream the first time he admitted the truth but there was only silence in the blackened room. Shane snapped his fingers to produce a flame, "Ryan?"

He wasn't in the corner.

Shane furrowed his browns and turned, "Ry—"

Splash.

"FUCK!"

The holy water definitely burned.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Shane shouted as he used the sleeve of his pea coat to pat out the sizzling on his face.

"Y-You're a demon! You're a fucking demon! You've been a demon this whole fucking time!" Ryan raised the holy water gun once again but Shane twisted his hand and sent the holy water flying against the wall where the demon box was. "OH GOD! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"Calm down," Shane rolled his eyes as he watched Ryan back into the corner furthest from him, "If I wanted to hurt you I would have done it by now."

"You've been hurting me this whole time!"

"What are you talking about? I've done no such thing!"

"You've been fucking with me, you've been toying with me, you've been pretending to be my friend so you can what? Feed off my fear you sick fuck?"

Shane scoffed, "Feed off your fear? What do you think I am? A Reptilian?"

Ryan gasped.

"No, no, no. I'm just joking. They aren't real…well…the way this dimension has perceived them isn't real."

"How the fuck have you been pretending to be my friend and you've been a demon this whole time?"

Shane shook his head, "I haven't been pretending. I really am your friend."

"You can't be a friend! You're a demon!"

"Can you just stop shouting that word around? I get the point. Yes. You know I am a demon."

"What? Does it insult you? DEMON."

Shane was tempted to show him what a demon truly was but knew he couldn't react so quickly. If Ryan had taught him anything it was patience—patience he had to extend for his friend. He let out a sigh, "Why don't we get out of here so I can explain everything to you. We can go to that diner you like. The haunted one."

"What haunted di—AHHHHH. IT IS HAUNTED YOU LYING FUCK!"

Ryan rushed for the holy water gun but just as he did Shane made the plastic dissolve so that the holy water seeped into the area around it.

"WHAT TH—Wait…what are you doing to the box?"

"I'm not doing that to the box."

The box that had once held a freakish red glow was suddenly an eerie green as it vibrated against the floor. Shane looked to Ryan with a raised brow as if to ask "what did your demonic research tell you about this one?"

Ryan immediately replied, "I-I read briefly about something like this."

"And?"

"A-And you're the demon! Shouldn't you know?"

"Ryan, last week you told me you thought George Washing Carver invented the telephone."

"That was once! AND I WAS HIGH!"

"Alright," Shane dismissed, "What did your research say?"

"It said that when it glows this color…it's working in reverse."

"WAAAHHHHHAAHAHA I AM FREE."

As a demon, Shane had an ability that allowed him to determine the strength of all supernatural beings. It had been roughly 6,427 years since he had met a being that was stronger than he was but the burst from the box radiated an essence that was all powerful. It had been roughly been 6,427 years since Shane had felt fear and so he had no idea how to behave. The signature Bergara Shaking was already taken by the man in the corner which left Shane very few options on how to respond. He supposed that freezing in the moment was the best way to gather information while he shit himself continually.

"Is that Shane?"

Fuck, "Yeah…yeah, it's me."

"How's it been, man?" Aaron asked.

"Uhh…" Shane looked to Ryan then shrugged, "It's been good. You been locked in there for uh…"

"Almost 6,500 years. Is that your human there?"

Shane didn't have enough time to get into the details of his relationship with Ryan and so he nodded, "Yeah…that's my human."

"Cool…cool. I'm gonna kill him."

"Now, Aaron, you know the ru—"

Aaron's dusty claw surrounded Shane's throat as he growled, "You know what happens when you're locked in a demon box?"

The claw around his neck made it impossible to move, "No."

"Nothing. Nothing happens. You sit in endless nothing and so while you're sitting in endless nothing I want you to remember my promise to you, Shane. I'm going to kill your human and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Uhh…Demon…Sir? I don't know this man or demon. We are not affiliated. I would just like to go home now."

Shane leaked out a choked laugh, "Ryan, clearly he doesn't have time for your jokes. Aaron, I think there's a better way we can sort this."

"Yeah…but I like this way."

Aaron threw Shane against the demon box as he turned to shadow and tackled Ryan into nothingness. Shane was just a blip and then he was a reddish glow that sunk into the oblivion of black. Ryan was gone and he was trapped for what seemed like eternity.

Shane knew he had to break out of the demon box and quick. There were rules to harming the human of higher-level demons and so that gave Ryan some time before he was skinned alive. The terrified look in his eyes created a chill in the vast nothingness of the demon box Shane was confined to.

That wasn't even the worst part! The worst part was yet to come.

Ryan's annoying voice saying "I told you ghosts were real" after Shane inevitably saved him.

But first, he had to find a way to get out of this fucking box.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter One: First Contact

Ryan was relatively new to the apartment building but, being the quick learner that he was, it didn't take him long to get into the swing of things. As far as he could tell there were about eight dogs that lived on his floor. Only seven of them actually went out for walks but when they did it was a shit show. Literally. Two of the dogs were behaved enough to not need a leash, three of them actually listened, one was simply a terror, while the last was the spawn of the Dark Lord.

The owners were all on the same schedule which meant lots of barking and shouting and threats of biting or being sued. Piss lined the hallways with promises of "I'll clean that up when I get back!" that were never kept. It was chaos for everyone that happened to be home at 8 am, 12pm, 6pm, or 9:15 in the evening.

Most people stayed in their apartments for the fifteen minutes it usually took for the ordeal to be complete but Ryan was different.

Ryan glanced down at his watch to check the time: 8:00 am.

Immediately doors opened to fill the building with quick yapping and frustrated shouts.

Ryan turned on his GoPro. There was only one thought in mind: _This is going to be great content_.

Though Ryan was an assistant manager at a local clothing store, his true passion was creating content to be consumed by the masses. He started a YouTube channel about a year ago that so far had 64 subscribers (thirteen of whom were actually loyal). The channel itself went through many phases from "DIY" to "Travel" but so far Ryan has stuck to vlogging about four times a week. The rub was that nothing ever really interesting happened to Ryan and it wasn't like he was Mr. Popular that had a ton of friends he could parade around on camera.

But that was fine. He was inventive. He had ideas.

Ryan whipped the door open eager to find the chaos of wild, domesticated animals yet he was met by calm energy. Dog and owner glided down the hallway as if that was the norm. There was no snipping, there were no threats, but worst of all there was no noise.

For about a minute he stood in the hallway with his camera rolling on nothing. It was easy to say that Ryan felt cheated but mostly he was shocked. The man had lived there for a month and three days in the same routine. What on Earth could possibly change things so drastically? Anything short of chemicals in the air or divine intervention was not accepted as an answer.

Ch-Chrmp.

The sound of a door closing and locking captured Ryan's attention. A brief whistle filled the air as a giant of a man sauntered his way down the hall. Ryan had noted brief glimpses of the seven foot tall individual but had never seen him so close. He had no idea they lived on the same floor and though it seemed totally illogical his instinct was that the giant had something to do with the dogs.

"Morning," he mumbled as he passed.

"Morning," Ryan replied.

There was one word for the guy: smug.

Ryan walked back into his apartment with a small frown. He shut off his camera and locked the door to his apartment before returning back to bed. Normally he would stay awake to brainstorm ideas or research what was "trending" but each action was coated in disappointment. Ryan hoped to sleep off the feeling before work at 12. He hoped a lot of things.

What Ryan didn't know was that he was completely right. The strange happenings were entirely caused by the long-limbed gentleman. He just would never have guessed how.

Shane had awaken that day with a simple thought "how 'bout we not?" It was common knowledge what happened with the "dog situation" and Shane was just not feeling it. He had a late night and was requested for an early morning. The very last thing he needed was a pack of untrained dogs and bumbling idiots roaming the hallways. He needed to be in tip top shape for the meeting at hand.

So he dabbled a bit with InterSpecies Mind Manipulation. Which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't too bad. He had done much, much worse.

Shane whistled a little tune as he left the apartment but stopped, noticing a pair of wide brown eyes. It was the chipmunk of a man Ryan Bergara gazing at him with suspicion. The man had moved into the building about a month ago and without fail there he stood with a recording device.

Every week Shane took patrol of the building to keep the other supernaturals in line. Once or twice Shane had shifted into shadow and spent an hour or two being amused by the pathetic videos Ryan conjured up. He had almost been caught thanks to the man's tendency to get spooked by even his own farts but Shane was a high class demon. No one would tell what he was unless he wished it that way.

And so there was a strange familiarity he felt as he passed, "Morning."

The timid response made Shane smile. Ryan was a predictably polite man. It was a shame that he knew how the guy would die already and it was not surrounded by YouTube views—that much was obvious.

When Shane returned from his meeting it was evening. What no one knew about being a demon was that all meetings were mandatory and there were lot more rules than expected. Being of high ranking allowed him to forget them with the exception of three:

Don't kill or hurt another demon (without sanction)

Don't touch or hurt a demon's human

Obey your Elder Father

The last was Shane's least favorite.

It is often accepted that all demons are fallen angels but that just wasn't exactly accurate. What became of the fallen was hidden from human knowledge. The truth was they became something known as Elder Fathers. It is unknown exactly how many exist but all together they work as "The Council." The sole purpose is to plot the destruction of all that is good in the world with each Elder Father working on their own private plans.

Who carries out these plans?

Demons.

Through the "Great One" (or the "Cool One" as Shane referred to him) the Council Members were allowed to create a certain number of spawn. These spawn were trained for thousands of years until reaching satisfaction when they are endowed with power from their Elder Father; the more power given the stronger the demon. At the moment Shane was the fifth strongest demon on the planet.

The fourth was a guy named Aaron that got mysteriously locked in a demon box some time ago.

ANYHOO.

The meeting was a long, drawn out event with Shane being given a specific task. The problem was Shane hadn't been tasked to do anything for millennia and so he wasn't too excited to be shackled to the cause. He preferred fun, sporadic disaster that trickled into major events. He didn't like being given a duty.

"Just consider yourself a freelancer," They told him.

It was bullshit.

"Fuck!"

Shane arrived to the bank of mailboxes just in time. There he was able to witness the small Ryan Bergara in the midst of a mental breakdown. Scattered along the ground was an array of letters, packages, postcards and, worst of all, his shattered GoPro.

Shane lowered himself to help gather some of the items, "Sometimes you're just better off talking the second trip."

Ryan always seemed like a polite, well-mannered young man but all kindness was stripped from his eyes as he snatched his stuff from Shane, "Yeah, I'll make sure to remember the next time."

The men stood up from their crouched position on the floor and it was then that their height difference became comical to Shane.

"Something funny?"

"You're just…not as nice as I expected."

"Well, you did just catch me on the worst day of my adult life so," Ryan pushed the broken camera into his pocket.

"I'm pretty tech savy. Let me take a gander at that."

Ryan furrowed his brows in suspicion, "I'm pretty sure anyone that is tech savy doesn't say they're tech savy."

"Do you want free help or not?"

The man pulled the camera out of his pocket and offered it up.

"Hmmm. I can fix this."

"You barely even looked at it."

Shane glared at him as he took it into his possession.

"Sorry, alright. If you say so. It really is my life and I don't have enough to pay someone to fix it."

"Yeah, I know," Shane mumbled as he turned the device over in his hand.

"How?"

Shane froze, "Uh, you just moved in, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded, "I did."

"What do you do with this thing anyway?"

Ryan began a noticeable blush that made Shane almost laugh, "I, uh, make YouTube videos."

"Anything I might've seen?"

"No," the man looked down in shame, "Probably not. Haven't really found my niche."

"Well, keep thinking. I'll have this back to you in a day or two," he extended his hand, "Name's Shane."

Ryan took the hand and shook it, adding in a smile, "I'm Ryan. Thank you so much. You really don't know how much this means."

"I'm sure you'll tell me. You're at 313, right?"

He nodded, "And you're 308."

"You noticed," Shane teased, "I'll knock on your door when it's done."

"I really appreciate this."

"I know."

"Have a good night," Ryan looked down sheepishly as he walked past the man on the way to the stairs.

"Good night."

Once the man left Shane was free to realize what he had signed up for. Yet he didn't know why. All he knew was he was pissed from the meeting, Ryan had become and his videos had become and mild source of amusement, there was a problem with a simple solution. There was also the addition that if Ryan's YouTube career took off he could be of some use.

Shane's task, after all, was to desensitize the youth to supernatural occurrences. He had no idea how to go about it but perhaps Ryan Bergara was a good start. Perhaps.

What Shane didn't know was that he was correct. Ryan was too flustered by the occurrence to have any longer of a discussion and knew it wouldn't have helped. The whole thing surprised him so much he took the stairs instead of the elevator.

He _always_ took the elevator.

Ryan replayed the events in his mind. Go to check mail, have lots of packages, tried to take videos of self for cut away scene, camera shattered. Then Shane came strolling up with his little comment and then offering to save Ryan's life. He had literally only said one word to the guy—that morning!

Part of Ryan felt suspicious but he was too grateful to question the miracle. Paying someone else to fix the thing was not in the budget and buying a whole new one was out of the question. Plus…though Shane seemed kind of suspicious he proved himself to be a nice guy. It looked like the start of a decent friendship. Ryan was too short on friendship to pass that up.


End file.
